pep talk

i'm only writing this post

because i can't talk to anyone right now ...

it's partially because it's just, like,
late on a monday nite, and it's
partially because

alla the things i wanna say --

alla the things i SHOULD say --

i already didn't say
when i talked to the person
i shoulda said those things to

that i didn't.

i THINK
i conveyed them nonetheless;

or at least,
that person seemed to enable me to think
that i could perceive
that she was receiving
those things i would be saying

were this a different world,
and would either of us
be saying things

we would never really say.

you know what?
fuck this computer.
it's fucking with my typing,
and destroying my poetry.

so i quit. and fuck you.
if i can't be eloquent
about idiocy,

well, then,
i guess i'll be dead, then

no recess

hey, who am i kidding, right?

no comments have appeared on this blog in quite a while.
perhaps because i haven't written much,
or perhaps because what i've written hasn't deserved a comment.

probably both.

i do have stories to tell, i'm just not telling them right now.
sometimes i don't prefer to talk,

and sometimes,
i don't prefer
to continue embarrassing myself
by my own accord

in a public forum,
albeit

allegedly anonymous.

i used to write poetry;
i don't write it any more ...
you can see why

les cochons sans poils

see, yeah, that's, like, the best title
for a post about nothing at all,
composed while (quite currently)

listnen to "FINALLY FAMOUS"
by Trick Daddy, you know,
he's that that THUG from MIAMI

and really, now, i gotta ask ya!
where is it that - and on this
reckad right now, she said
"hold the fuck ON!"

-

well, yeah,

true true, i hear ya, man

-

but if you got that problem
you gotta fine yr way to solvem

-

yeah b-h, that a plural, i said it

and i ain't give this album credit

-

born a thug, still a thug, i getcha, TRICK

and yet i gotta warnya i think i'm gettin sick

-

it's them Ds, trick
and i wanna say that sh*t st*nx,

xcep that nexime gonna listen to

raekwon's sequel to th' cuban linx

my friends

KRAFT* is sleeping, he's passed out on my couch
(he's here for the weekend 'cause he's tryna sell his house)

RENKA* is leaving; she's going overseas
(she won't be back stateside for 2 years, at least)

LEON* is in hiding; i mean he hasn't been seen
(he just might have some quar'l with the last-mentioned scene)

NINDA* didna show up and no one knew where she's
(and that's strange, considering such friends as these)

SAREB* is restless - she's ALL OVAH the HOUSE!
(she wants to know just when tha #@*%! she getsa killa mouse)

and
ILLBY* -
he'll be sittin here, in 'n' out the season

(puzzling out the dialogue
but probly not the reason)





*denotes special secret code!


(post AKA "these are people who [haven't] died [yet])

coolidge

yeah, so i've got the sneaking suspicion that i just kinda suck as a person, and for the last several / 4-5 YEARS now ...

and i suppose this wouldn't bother me all too much, except that i try my damnedest

- and often through a concerted effort -

to be as selfless as possible; i mean, i do my UTMOST not to let my demands/requirements/needs/desires/envies/what-have-you ...

inhibit or influence

how i behave
(or ACT)

AND YET
here i stand:

petty,
self-indulgent;
lazy;
selfish, weak;

and always either
in denial
or defiance

(is it a Disease?)

while never knowing

REALLY

what it IS ...

Or
what the hell you're talking about

certain stars

just a brief, sad note here, really, to mark the untimely death (age 43) of John Brittain, of complications following what was purportedly to be minor heart surgery, this past ... monday? a regular contributor to and member of any number of baseball websites and other media outlets, his passion, insight, wit and well-directed rancor will be sorely missed.

i hereby join the rest of the Primates in saying - or, perhaps, praying -

"Best Regards,

John"

TV party

(shit,
i haven't already used that,
have i?)

i'm at my brother's
'cause he has cable
so we can watch this sox-rays tilt.

drinkin some beerce,
smokin some rope,
lissnen to some tunes,

yeah,

nothing much has changed in my life,
has it?

the other brother's coming over,
too.

game over

hey, everybody!

so ... the phillies went up 2 games to none
on the dodgers a little while ago,
and i'm pleased.

(they were my pick, and ...)

right now, matsuzaka has walked the bases full
in the first
against the "tampa bay" rays.

all year long, he's done this
and for the most part

he's been successful.

aaaaaand ...
he gets the ground ball,

and gets out of it.

god.

(still dead)